


T R I B U T A R Y ( 支流 )

by gumeat



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Blood and Injury, Boys Kissing, Child Abuse, Dom/sub, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Gay, Gay Male Character, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major character death - Freeform, Mutual Pining, Pain, Pining, Romance, Sex, Sexual Content, Sharing Body Heat, Sharing Clothes, Sick Character, Side Story, Slow Burn, cameos of other idols, learning to love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:09:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27650471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gumeat/pseuds/gumeat
Summary: Wonwoo is born with an illness that keeps him from going outside, his Mother uses his disability for income, and Mingyu becomes his doctor (and love interest).
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 13
Kudos: 110





	1. ONE.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everyone! My name is Moo, this is the first story I've ever written on AO3 which is CRAZY!! I really hope you enjoy this story because I've been working on it for a few months now. Remember to leave Kudos if you enjoy it!

His pale fingers touched the glass of his window, the pads of his fingers tracing circles against the thick pane. He stared outside into the large backyard, the sprinklers were already doing their job in keeping the grass well-kept and growing, small butterflies fluttering around the rose bushes planted artfully around the grass. He sighed, laying back onto the soft rug of his room, letting the soft tufts of woolen fur encapture his form. It was July now, soon the leaves would start to turn shades of red and yellow, and fall to the ground to decay like wilting flowers or forgotten children’s toys on a playground. Soon it would get cold, and he would have to cuddle up into a blanket to keep his body from freezing himself to death, the blood running through his veins turning to ice.

He scratches at the surface of the rug, hearing small footsteps in the hallway, followed by gentle laughter of a small child, soft and airy and full of life (unlike himself). Turning his head gently, seeing his younger cousin, Chanwoo, running along in the hallway with a toy airplane in his hand, his pajamas decorated with multi-coloured trains and a bubble on the center which read, “Reach for the Sky!” Wonwoo never had that kind of childhood.

He sat up, blinking his tired eyes as the sun shone through the window once again. Raising his arms above his head, he popped his bones with a cracking noise, his neck scrunching against his shoulder, the cold skin of his cheek meeting the cold skin of his arm. He stood, cracking his toes and knees as he trudged to his mirror on the other side of the bedroom. He had gotten paler.

When did he eat last? His hair was longer now too, his bangs practically falling over his eyes. He stared holes into his own forehead, his eyelashes fluttering against his eyebags, lips bleeding and scabbed from when he bit them. He raised his shirt up a bit, his feeding tube grew infected again, poking it with his index finger only to hiss at the burning sensation. He grabbed the remote and pressed the yellow button.

“Mom,” he spoke, releasing the button to look out the window once more, a butterfly landing on it.

He pressed it again, clicking his tongue out of frustration, “Mom.”

Static through the remote, then a groan, “What is it Woo?” His mother’s slurred, annoyed voice rang through the speaker, making Wonwoo twitch.

“My tube is infected, can you call up the doctor,” he asked, softly into the remote.

His mother sighed, “I can call, I’m not sure when he’ll be free again.”

Wonwoo set the remote down, turning to his bed and flopping on it, his hair sprawling out around his head like a halo.

Wonwoo was sick. He had never been outside. He’s allergic to everything, he can’t even eat regular food because of this. His condition was found after he was born, at about two weeks old when he had still yet to be brought off the incubator.

His father left after he found out about his son’s condition, his mother resorted to drinking. Wonwoo felt guilty for this. His mother was happy before he came along, before he was diagnosed with this condition. His lifeline, the remote, helps him to contact the outside world.

He has a phone, and a computer of course, but his doctor recommends he only use it about 3-4 times a day. Each button, a different color, helps him to call up different people or different things with the speaker installed.

His room was cold now, clouds began to cover up the sun with their greyness, Wonwoo sighing softly. He stood, walking over to the large window to close it with the curtains, the butterfly that landed earlier still sitting there. It was a black butterfly, with brown speckles on the tips of the wings, fluttering softly in the wind.

He stared for a moment, enraptured by this tiny insect, before it flew off into the rose bushes. Wonwoo had never felt a cold breeze, only the ones from his fan, but it had to suffice. He closed the blinds completely, the only light coming from the small lamp in the corner of his room.

He heard the remote static click on, and his mother’s voice call out, “Come to the barrier, we need to talk.”

Wonwoo groaned, knowing he was in for a long discussion if his mother couldn’t speak of it through the remote or on the phone. He threw his gangly legs off the side of the mattress, sliding down onto the floor with a squeak and a thud, rolling on his stomach and pushing himself onto his feet. It was a bit of a struggle, since his muscles were still tired, but he dragged himself to the barrier nonetheless.

His fingers deftly pressed against the keypad, typing in the same code he knew since he was a kid, “280774” his mother’s birthday.

He inhaled sharply and stepped into the hallway, his stomach churning as if a whirlpool had found its way inside his intestines.

He was always mortified of stepping out of his room, not knowing whether the oxygen of his own living room would kill him or not drove him mad sometimes, but it was something he had to deal with.

He chose not to dwell on the things that restricted him, he figured things were only sad if you made them out to be.

_But Wonwoo is fucking miserable._

“Mom?” He called out, fidgeting with the bottom of his t-shirt.

“Where’s Chanwoo,” she asked, stepping around the corner of the kitchen hallway.

“I haven’t seen him,” Wonwoo gritted, noticing how his mother was wheeling a suitcase behind her.

“Ah.. Christ almighty,” she swore, biting at her nails whilst talking away on her phone.

“It isn’t nice to swear,” Chanwoo pouted, fixing the hoodie and jeans he suddenly changed into.

Wonwoo’s mother sighed, “It’s not swearing Chanwoo, don’t tell my sister and I’ll buy you the new game for your switch, okay?”

Chanwoo hummed at this and waddled his way into the kitchen, opening the fridge to preoccupy himself with finding something to eat.

Finally, Wonwoo’s mother set her phone down, tucking her long brown hair behind her ear. “I’ll keep this short and simple so you can’t pester me about it or sigh dramatically like you’re dying,” she spoke.

“I _am _dying,”__ Wonwoo reminded her, keeping his eyes on Chanwoo. “Right,” she groaned, rubbing her temples with her tired hands.

“Your doctor called and said he has work to attend to overseas, so he cannot care for you anymore. And fortunately for us I have a business trip this weekend, so your aunt is coming to watch the two of you. Your new doctor will be arriving shortly to feed you and prepare your medicine, be nice to him,” she warned, typing something on her phone.

Wonwoo was used to doctors coming and going, he learned not to get attached after the first time. He misses his first doctor, but he can’t do much now considering she’s dead.

“What’s his name,” Wonwoo inquired, helping Chanwoo reach a cup from the top cupboard without having to climb on the counter.

“Kim Mingyu,” she replied, her piercing eyes still glued to her phone as if it were her lifeline.

“Do you know what he looks like?” Wonwoo asked, picking at a piece of string that hung from the sleeve of his shirt.

His mother pushed her hair back and muttered out, “Look, all I know is that your previous doctor recommended him so that’s it, I wanted to keep this simple and sweet but it’s always a question game with you. Do you do this to your professors?”

“I’m homeschooled,” Wonwoo spat, opening the fridge and retrieving what seemed to be a mixture of spinach and various other fruits and vegetables.

He wanted no more to do with his mother, if you could even call her that, so he bid her a short goodbye and went back to his room, shutting the barrier quickly behind him.

His legs signaled how tired he was before he had even registered how exhausted he actually was. He set the awful mixture on his bedside table, letting his knees press against the edge of the mattress before completely collapsing on the bed.

Despite having lived here so long, Wonwoo never grew tired of his bed. The last thing he remembers before his eyes shut is how the butterfly from earlier had come back, and was resting on the exact same spot on his window.

———

He wakes up to the sound of his watch going off, he forgot to change the settings. It was a gift from his aunt for making it to 20, it felt like a trophy rather than a present though.

The doctors and nurses claimed Wonwoo would only make it to 5 weeks, then it became 5 years, then 15. The list kept going, putting a due date on Wonwoo’s life until one day he does drop dead, but he tends to not think about it.

Sure, it's difficult considering your entire life is surrounded by documentaries of people overcoming their challenges and finding ways to do things normally no matter their disabilities.

Wonwoo has never been outside.

His condition, Severe Combined Immunodeficiency (SCID) is a very rare and incurable disease that usually develops as a child, but progressively gets worse as time continues. First, it started off as an allergy to little things such as dust or mold, but then it grew to the worst possible case.

And unluckily for Wonwoo, his stages moved fast.

He finds himself sitting up on his bed, noticing the position he fell asleep in is quite awkward, and made his back twist into a very uncomfortable position.

He arches his back delicately, hearing his vertebrae pop back into their respectful positions.

Suddenly, Chanwoo appears at the plastic barrier, tapping on it and giggling, “Auntie is here! And she had some tall guy in a white coat with her!”

Wonwoo knows it’s a bit cliche; but, he missed his aunt. Unlike his mother, she was caring and effective at taking care of him when he needed it most. But, now the doctor would be here to watch him as well, and that drained from his overall excitement.

He allows his feet to touch the floor, cracking his toes against the wood as he trudged his way to the barrier, unlocking it with the same code as before.

The hallway feels colder now, he already misses the warmth of his bed—God if he could sleep right now instead of having to meet with another doctor he’d pick it over anything.

Chanwoo’s giggles ring throughout the dining room, and Wonwoo almost cracks a smile. Unlike everything else, Chanwoo wasn’t something that made Wonwoo sad. He liked talking to him, colouring with him, and helping him out around the house when he needed it. It was a comfort to know that someone out there truly did love him, and didn’t view him as a disability check.

“Wonwoo!” His aunt called, standing up to walk over to him with a humongous smile on her bright face. His aunt was always a kind woman, knew what Wonwoo hated and what he loved, knew when he needed his alone time.

“Hi Auntie, it’s good to see you,” he replied, shaking her gentle hands in his own.

She hummed and nodded to the male with the white labcoat on, only whom of which Wonwoo could assume was Kim Mingyu, his new doctor, “Wonwoo, this is Mingyu, the son of the doctor you previously had.”

Mingyu was tall, Wonwoo noticed, and built oddly.. very well for someone who spends most of their time at a hospital.

Wonwoo traces the male’s features with his eyes, maybe he was staring, but Mingyu didn’t seem to notice. “Hello Wonwoo,” he greeted, a fake smile plastered on his tired face.

Wonwoo nodded, “Hello.”

———

It was awkward at first, Wonwoo was awful at conversations, and Mingyu must’ve noticed how awkward he felt sitting next to his new doctor whom he’d never met. The windows were open again, Mingyu noticing the way the backyard seemed to stretch for miles, but noticing the way Wonwoo looked at it with sad eyes.

Wonwoo wasn’t sad. He believed he wasn’t, you can't be sad unless you convince yourself to be, and that was that.

“Hey, Wonwoo, it’s time for your meds,” Mingyu clears the tension in the air with a clear of his throat, swinging his bag into his lap.

Wonwoo notices how Mingyu likes things neat, much like himself, so he doesn’t have to worry about being given the wrong prescriptions like he had before.

“Okay,” Wonwoo nodded, sitting back on the mattress as Mingyu grabbed the pill bottles out of his doctor’s bag.

The pill bottles are colour coordinated, depending on the time and day, which week and month, it’s a lot to remember, but Wonwoo appreciates the cleanliness. Then, Mingyu pulls out the needles and antibiotics, and Wonwoo visibly pales.

“Not a fan of needles I assume?” Mingyu asked, cocking up an eyebrow cheekily.

Wonwoo chuckled, “You would think being sick like I am, I’d be able to handle them, but they scare me shitless.”

Mingyu’s once resting face turned into a gentle smile, an example of gratitude, “I don’t like them much either, but I know a way to take your mind off the pinch.”

Wonwoo is familiar with the pinch, like a prick of the finger or a cat scratch (not that Wonwoo knew what that bit felt like).

“How?” The older asked, tilting his head with a questionable look.

Mingyu took the needle, filling it with the antibiotics and flicking the syringe where the liquid sat. “What’s your favorite film?”

Wonwoo blinked, looking at Mingyu, “Pardon?”

Mingyu hummed, “I asked for your favorite film, tell me about it.”

Wonwoo wracked his brain for a moment, maybe three, “I like Rivers Edge.”

Mingyu looked up at Wonwoo, “Never heard of it.”

“Shocker, you don’t seem like the film type.”

Mingyu snickered, “You’d be right, I prefer sappy drama shit, the type that you know you shouldn’t cry over but you can’t help but do it.”

Wonwoo isn’t surprised, hell, most people like watching romantic sappy shit because their love life is so undoubtedly tragic that they need movies to feel something. He never liked romance, never needed it anyway.

“Right, we’re done with the needle,” Mingyu hummed, screwing the cap on the antibiotic and throwing the syringe in a red plastic bag, to which he disposed of in his case.

Huh?

“But I didn’t even feel-“

“Ta da,” Mingyu grinned, sliding his bag onto the floor with a soft thud.

Wonwoo stared in awe, he didn’t feel the needle enter or leave: was he too deep in thought? No, Mingyu couldn’t have pricked him with that needle yet; there's no way.

Surely enough though, a small band aid was placed onto Wonwoo’s arm, a token, almost. “How did- How does..” Wonwoo trailed, his mouth agape as Mingyu smirked wordlessly for a moment.

“Though, I’m not a therapist I found distraction to be a great way to cope with fear and anxiety. I didn’t like needles either as a kid—hate em’ now, can’t give them to myself because I know I’ll think too much about it,” he explained, rolling a piece of his hair between his fingers.

Wonwoo takes note of the bangle of silver on Mingyu’s arm, it seems to have writing on it, and it jangles everytime he moves it.

“Now,” Mingyu starts, “Let’s get your pills in so you can get to bed for real, yeah?”

Wonwoo hums, looking through the pills and their respective pills, “What day is it?”

Mingyu taps his pen against his head, elbow resting on his clipboard placed in his lap, “April 15th, Monday.”

Wonwoo grabs the bright yellow bottle, his Monday pills, taking two out and grabbing his glass of water he kept on his bedside table.

He popped them both into his mouth, taking a swig of the water and swallowing them whole, grimacing when he tasted them as they went down.

“Swear to god these taste worse the more I take them,” Wonwoo whined, sealing the bottle tightly and handing it back to Mingyu.

Mingyu was writing, possibly taking notes on how many pills he took and what day it was, “Pills are a progressive sort of system.”

“Pardon?” Wonwoo inquired, tilting his head.

“Pills are progressing each and every day, medicine isn’t what it used to be and hell half of the medicine we’re given to inject into your bodies could be laced with anything. Unfortunately for us, we leave it to the examiners to make sure nothings been tampered with or changed, since you’re on a trial run though, your medicines are different each day; so, I can only imagine how awful they taste.” Mingyu explained, still jotting things down on the clipboard.

“Have you eaten Wonwoo?” Mingyu asked, tapping his chin.

“I had some weird spinach smoothie,” he replied, finding a distraction by playing with the strings of his sweatpants.

Mingyu raised a questionable eyebrow, “One? You need to eat, it’s almost 8 pm.”

Wonwoo was bad at remembering to eat, which thinned him out quite a bit, but he hadn’t really noticed until his Mother spouted some bullshit to him about it.

Wonwoo nodded, “I’ll eat before I fall asleep, scout’s honor.”

Mingyu nodded and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, letting it out with an exasperated sigh, “Right, well I’m finished here. If you need me, we programmed your remote to my number instead of my dad’s—your old doctor— and my number is on the fridge incase of an emergency.”

Wonwoo nodded slightly.

Mingyu stood, closing his pen on the clipboard and tilting his body downwards slightly, as if he were to bow, “I’ll be going, goodnight Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo muttered a ‘goodnight’ as the barrier slid shut to his room, to which he slumped back onto his mattress at the sound of.

It was colder, now that only one body was in the room, Wonwoo had hardly noticed how much warmer he felt just moments ago with Mingyu in the room.

Wonwoo knew Mingyu was at least intelligent. He did have to get a few degrees in order to be a doctor, and he was only 19, so, maybe he was some sort of Child prodigy.

Wonwoo knew the limit though, not to get close with his caregiver, they end up leaving anyway. Transferring even, he’s too much of a burden. It’s a safe bet to not grow close to Mingyu. He was only there to give him his meds, make sure he eats, and that all it was. That’s all he’ll ever be.

—————

Wonwoo fell asleep without eating. He’ll suffer for that later, god knows his pills will reject anything else that may come into his body aside from oxygen.

He was too tired to get back up to eat anyway, Chanwoo was asleep, and so was his aunt—he decided not to wake them.

He wakes up the next morning with a sore on his tongue. He figures it’s karma for not listening to Mingyu. Classy.

It’s freezing, Wonwoo feels like his toes might fall off of his body if he doesn’t put some socks on. He sits up, wrapped in his comforter as if it were a bath towel, and trudged to the dresser, grabbing a pair of socks and a sweater from their respective locations.

He feels like an old man in his 70’s, but he’d rather look closer to death than he actually is.

The blinds are open again, the curtains pushed back far enough to let the line shine into Wonwoo’s room and downcast the shadows of the bushes on the floor and carpet.

Eerily, Wonwoo doesn’t remember leaving his curtains open, but his memory leaves him quite frequently since he has to remember hundreds of things each day.

It’s a sickening feeling to walk, his legs are aching from the position he slept in with his bangs swept back against his forehead, showing his sharp, tired eyes.

As much as Wonwoo sleeps, he always looks tired. The bags under his eyes grow more and more visible each day, and Wonwoo fears he will turn into a grape since the circles are so dark.

He groans as he drags his tired legs into his own bathroom, turning the lights on and rubbing his eyes gently. He blinks a few times, looking at his reflection to see just how tired he looks, and honestly he doesn’t think it’s too bad.

He reaches under the sink for his toothpaste and grabs the tube, along with his toothbrush that sat in a cup on the sink.

He disperses the toothpaste onto the toothbrush evenly and wets it, brushing his teeth whilst avoiding eye contact with himself in the mirror. Wonwoo finds himself unattractive. Then again, no one’s ever complimented his looks—so you can’t blame him entirely.

Jesus, when did he get so negative?

He spits into the sink, washing it down with the water and sliding his toothbrush back into his cup. The toothpaste goes back under the sink as well, Wonwoo likes things tidy. He grabs his glasses off their holder and puts them on, walking back into his room to see Chanwoo on his bed, reading a comic book.

“Channie, how’d you get in here,” Wonwoo asked, walking closer to the younger.

Chanwoo doesn’t take his eyes away from the comic book, as if his eyes were glued to it, “Auntie gave me the code, I disinfected and showered before I came in!” Wonwoo hummed and sat down beside him, tilting his head to catch a glimpse of what he was reading. It was a Spider-Man comic of course, Chanwoo loved Spider-Man.

Wonwoo laid down beside Chanwoo, reading along with him, and answering questions his cousin had if he needed help understanding a word or two.

He would read it aloud, then Chanwoo would repeat, and the smile on his face after he said it correctly was worth it. Wonwoo had watched over Chanwoo since he was born, though he wasn’t allowed to be near him when he was a baby, since they were both extremely susceptible to disease.

It was a mutual bond they had, to watch over each other, and Wonwoo was okay with that.

—————

“Your Aunt tells me you didn’t eat dinner last night, Wonwoo,” Mingyu purses his lips, looking up at Wonwoo from his clipboard.

Wonwoo’s lips go dry, fuck.

“I meant to, I swear, I had passed out on my bed right after those meds, plus Chanwoo was asleep and I didn’t want to wake him, and I assumed she was asleep as well,” Wonwoo excused.

“I told her to stay up until you ate, she waited about an hour and assumed you had fallen asleep, so she went to sleep,” Mingyu hummed, tapping his pen on the clipboard.

“I meant to eat I swear I-“

“Don’t lie to my face Wonwoo.” Mingyu interrupted, shooting the older male a glare.

Wonwoo nods wordlessly, sitting back into his chair and folding his hands in his lap, chewing on his bottom lip.

Mingyu furrows his brows and clicks his pen, his tongue pressing against his cheek, “Right, so it’s been over twelve hours since you had actual .. We’ll call it food, in your system.” Mingyu pursed his lips again, looking up at Wonwoo, “I really don’t want to have to put you on a high calorie diet Wonwoo, but your BMI is so low it worries me.”

Wonwoo starts, “What should my BMI be..?”

Mingyu clicks his pen, “Between 18.5 and 24.9.”

Wonwoo dares not to ask, but does anyway, “What’s my current BMI?”

Mingyu chews on the end of the ink cartridge, humming to himself, “17.8.” Wonwoo feels like vomiting, but there’s nothing in his system anyway.

Mingyu sighs and rubs his temples, “I’m not too worried, it’s not like you overexert yourself in any way, but not eating is a sure way for you to get sick.”

Wonwoo knows this, it’s been fed into his brain since he was a kid. It was always “eat at least 4,000 calories a day or else you’ll die.”

His mom was always so great with words, even when he was a kid.

“I don’t want to be on a diet,” He says, leaning forward a bit in his chair.

Mingyu seems deep in thought, by the way his eyebrows furrow and his leg bounces up and down. “I don’t want to put you on a diet either, I know eating is difficult sometimes, especially for sick people,” Mingyu sighs, standing up to walk to the fridge.

Wonwoo watches, “I don’t think my aunt agreed to you raiding our fridge.”

Mingyu laughs, throwing his head back a bit, “I’m checking to see if you can suffice on the stuff you have for this week, then we’ll check back in on your weight.”

Wonwoo hums and watches as Mingyu picks up condiments, fruits, mixtures that look as if they’d been sitting there for weeks. It’s gross, and it makes Wonwoo’s stomach churn again.

Mingyu looked back at Wonwoo, his eyebrows furrowed, “Does your mom even.. eat?”

Wonwoo shrugged, “She’s always out, leaves early and comes home late, I don’t really pay attention, she seems healthy though.”

Mingyu’s eyebrows relax, the muscles untensing and allowing his face to return to its normal state.

“How’s your mom doing,” Mingyu asked, closing the fridge with an apple in his hand.

Wonwoo didn’t pay attention to his mother. Frankly, he wanted to avoid that woman for the rest of his natural life, she didn’t care about him one bit. Checks rolled in, Wonwoo stayed alive, and that was all she needed. Mingyu notices how deep in thought Wonwoo was, taking a bite out of the apple and throwing one to Wonwoo.

“I took the first bite,” he says, a smile across his face. “We’ll do it together to make things easier, yeah?”

Wonwoo looks at Mingyu, pursing his lips as the red apple sits between his fingers. He didn’t like apples all that much, but he was growing pretty hungry. He eventually grows the courage to sink his teeth into the fruit, the skin breaking apart in his mouth as he chews. It tastes fine, really, but Wonwoo’s stomach is still churning.

Mingyu nods, sinking his teeth back into his own apple, walking to the dining room table and taking his seat across from Wonwoo, “See? I find things to be easier when you’re walked through it.”

————

“Mama! Look at what I drew!” Wonwoo giggled, holding up the brightly colored doodles on a blank sheet of paper. It was a drawing of his favorite cartoon characters, they were all lined up and holding hands, the sun in the corner of the page as grass grew up from the bottom edges of the paper.

“Wonderful Wonwoo,” she muttered, a fake smile plastered on her plastic face, turning back to her computer with her hands smoothing out her own hair.

His mother wore glasses too, they sat on her beaked nose and rested there gently, but the indents were still present, her eyes tired and weary from something Wonwoo hadn’t understood.

“Mama you didn’t even look..” Wonwoo pouted, tugging on the sleeve of her coat with his chubby fingers.

“I’m busy Wonwoo, have your auntie hang it up when she comes over to watch you later,” She sighed, sliding the doodle onto the table with her painted nails.

Wonwoo was cold then, too.

______________

Wonwoo woke up with a pounding headache and a sore on his tongue. Of course, he can't have one good day.

He frequently grew sores on his tongue from his medicine, and the only way to get ride of them was to wait for them to go away. Unfortunately, these sores made everything impossible. Talking hurt, eating hurt, hell even drinking hurt. And Mingyu was going to visit him today, _fuck._

He forced himself out of bed and into the bathroom to shower, luckily he wasn't allergic to water, and could shower with shampoo and body wash designed specifically for him. The shower was cold, just like everything else in the male's life. He shivered, his hand pressed against the tile wall and water ran down his back and onto the floor, into the drain. Wonwoo thought about how far water actually traveled, how far the pipes carried it and where to. Wonwoo wants to travel. He wants to know the anxiety people get before they go on a plane, the way you feel as if you can touch the clouds and let them dance through your fingers. He wants to know what the ocean smells like, what waves feel like on your feet and whether or not the salt would burn his eyes if he opened them underwater.

__It was just wishful thinking, though._ _

Wonwoo stepped out of the shower and wrapped himself in a towel, running his hands through his mop of hair and humming, rubbing the water off his face with his hands and sighing quietly. The air was cool against his pale skin, his fingernails bitten down to the bed and bleeding. The sore on his tongue throbbed as he brushed his teeth and slipped his t-shirt on over his head. He felt warmth, for a second, then coolness once more. The doorbell rang, Wonwoo's head quickly snapping towards the sound as he slipped his sweats on. He dashed to his bedroom door and opened the barrier that connected him to the oustide world, and there stood Mingyu in the doorway, all smiles and shitty labcoats.

"Hiya Wonwoo," he greeted with a wave and a tilt of his head.

"Hi," he replied, tugging his sweats higher on his waist.

Mingyu hummed as the two both sat down at the kitchen table, Wonwoo pursing his lips tightly.

"Have you been eating as we discussed?" Mingyu inquired, taking his pen into his hand.

Wonwoo nodded, "I had salad for lunch and dinner yesterday..and drank some smoothies."

Mingyu nodded and scribbled onto the paper, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

The room was silent, Wonwoo grew restless at this.

"Mingyu?" Wonwoo spoke up, bouncing his leg against the rug.

"Mh," he replied, the end tip of his pen stuck between his pen as he read his clipboard.

_"What does Summer smell like?"_

Mingyu glanced over, cocking up an eyebrow,"The season?"

Wonwoo coward away a bit, nodding as he folded his hands between his thighs.

"Well, let's see.." Mingyu thought for a moment or two, tapping his pen against his lips softly. "I feel Summer smells like.. a warm embrace that lasts too long..A melting popsicle on the sidewalk that a toddler dropped just after his mom paid for it. Summer is a dreadful season for me, though, so I suppose it smells different to everyone."

Wonwoo hummed, "I've never had a popsicle, mom always said they were bad for my health."

“‘Cause of the sugar?” Mingyu asked, setting the clipboard and pen down on the table.

__“__ Guess so,” Wonwoo hummed, tracing small circles on the table with his middle finger, now he really wanted to know what Summer smelt like. He wanted to feel what the heat of the sun would do to his skin if he stood out in it, instead of behind a glass wall. He wondered if the outside world was warm.

Mingyu left after distributing Wonwoo’s medicine.

__And suddenly, everything was cold again._ _


	2. TWO.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo recalls the first time he tried to escape the hell he lives in, and his mother isn’t too happy about it. Mingyu and Wonwoo grow closer, and Wonwoo realizes that everytime he’s with Mingyu, he feels warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Moo here <3! A brief Trigger Warning for anyone out there, the chapter does deal with verbal abuse from a parent, and deals with the trauma in the aftermath, If this effects you I suggest you skip this chapter! If you’d like to follow me on Twitter to find out more about updates and whatnot, my @ is @canofteeth <3\. Enjoy the chapter!

“Chanwoo! I asked you to leave your dishes in the dishwasher, you’re too old for this!” Their auntie cried, grabbing the empty plate off the dining room table. Wonwoo sat picking at his food during the altercation with a pouty Chanwoo and slightly irritated auntie. “I forgot, I won’t do it again, swear Auntie,” Chanwoo cried, preferring to be playing in the yard with his kite or drawing cartoons in his sketchbook. “It’s alright little boy, run along, your mother will be back soon and if your room is messy she’ll throw a fit,” their Auntie smiled, shooing him off.

Wonwoo was never messy. He liked things clean, like his mother. He hated being connected to her in any way, shape, or form, but unfortunately children obtain traits from both parents. As Wonwoo never met his father, he doesn’t know how he acted, and barely recalls what he even looks like. “Woo, could you hand me Chanwoo’s cup? I don’t wanna walk back over my legs are old and tired,” his auntie chuckled, holding her arm out for Wonwoo. Wonwoo reached forward to grab the cup, his fingers wrapping deftly around the glass, reaching to hand it to his auntie. Suddenly, the cup slipped through his fingers and onto the floor, smashing into god knows how many pieces.

“Woo!” his auntie shouted, throwing the towel she was holding down. “I-I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to-” “Forget it! It’s fine, I’m not mad just-” She sighed, walking to the closet to grab the broom and dustpan. Wonwoo’s breath hitched in his throat. He knew in his mind he should be helping his poor aunt, but one cut and Wonwoo could die.

_Why did this happen to me?_

“Hello!” came a shout through the front hallway, along with the sound of someone taking their shoes off. It was Mingyu, holding his briefcase in his left hand and what seemed to be a gift bag in the other. Wonwoo’s eyes looked over through his glasses to the younger male, who was taking in the scene in front of him. “Ah.. is anyone hurt?” He asked, quickly setting his things down to help Wonwoo’ s aunt. Wonwoo sat there, helpless with his hands gripped on the edges of his chair, staring down at his feet. “I-I didn’t mean to..” he mumbled, slightly chewing on his bottom lip. “It slipped through my hands, and if mom found out I broke one of her glasses-”

“Hey,” Mingyu spoke, standing next to Wonwoo. “It’s alright, Wonwoo, mistakes happen and we just gotta learn from them, y’know?” Mingyu smiled, taking the dustpan to the trash and dumping it’s contents in it. Wonwoo paused his grip on the chair, his shoulders and arms relaxing as he looked up at the male, who was humming quietly to himself while he stepped over to sit across from Wonwoo. His aunt retreated into the yard with Chanwoo, sitting in the grass with her book in her lap and her reading glasses perched on her nose.

“So, let’s discuss your current situation, Wonwoo,” Mingyu nodded, pushing his clipboard towards Wonwoo. “Since birth you have been susceptible to anything and everything on the board, Flu, Chicken Pox, and even diseases such as diphtheria.” Mingyu spoke, cracking his knuckles to relieve the tension. “I thought diphtheria was rare..” Wonwoo raised an eyebrow, pushing his glass up higher on his nose to read the clipboard better, despite knowing he’d probably have to face the fact he was dying soon.

“Now, there are ways we can lessen the effects, but there’s not sure way we can help you just yet. The only people you’re allowed to come in contact with are the people who get disinfected when they walk in, other than that no one can even come to you, nor you to them. If you even so much as walk outside, you could die,” Mingyu lectured, rolling his pen on the table. “Don’t give me the same lecture I’ve always gotten since I was a toddler, I know not to go outside, I know I’m not allowed to leave, don’t remind me again and again, I know,” Wonwoo spat, sounding a lot harsher than he intended to be.

“Which is why I said we can lessen the effects,” Mingyu smiled, rolling his sleeves up. “I discussed this with your mother, about therapy and having someone to talk to, but she said she didn’t want to pay for it, so I’m offering my very obvious qualifications to be your temporary therapist until we can sit you up with a professional, does that sound okay?”

Wonwoo blinked, the breath escaping his lips in a fashion that caused him to choke. While he was currently coughing out a lung, Mingyu was grabbing a glass of water for him, purified and cleaned by a machine to prevent Wonwoo from getting sick. “Thank you,” Wonwoo spoke, his voice gravely and soft as he choked down the glass of water, clearing his throat to let the effects settle in. “I’m taking that as a shocked sort of thing, not as you found my joke about being ‘unqualified’ funny,” Mingyu grinned, the tips of his ears turning red. “You make the shittiest dad jokes,” Wonwoo sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “But I inhaled sharply because no one has ever offered to actually.. Talk to me about my problems.. With me- I think you see the point,” Wonwoo snickered, covering his mouth with his hand as he did so.

“They haven’t? Not even your mother?” Mingyu inquired, chewing on his fingernails. “My mother is a control freak, likes things her way and hell I don’t think I’ve spent a full day with her since I was a kid, she likes to ignore me because she can’t control anything about my sickness, and it pisses her off. Drives her up a fucking wall and I love it,” Wonwoo admitted, with another chuckle and brief smile. “Y’know I believe that was the first time I’ve seen you smile, Wonwoo,” Mingyu grinned, drumming his fingers on the table. Wonwoo raised an eyebrow, and opened his mouth to retaliate, but quickly closed it. “Remember how you asked me what summer smelt like,” Mingyu started, staring out the window.

Wonwoo nodded.

“I want to change my answer, give you more detail if I can,” Mingyu started, taking his lab coat off, leaving him in his black turtleneck. “Summer smells like patience. Summer reminds you how cold, boring, wistful Winter felt, but it comes along to pat you on the back with Fahrenheit 105. Summer smells of anticipation for fall, Wonwoo.” Mingyu spoke, the end of the pen pressed to his bottom lip. “Why do you think it smells only of patience?” Wonwoo asked, tilting his head. “Dunno,” Mingyu started.

“Maybe because the only people who like Summer have some sort of tolerance.. and ability to wait for something good to happen to them.”

———

Wonwoo’s night was rough. He decided he’d stay up late to finish a few assignments for class, but his partner had fallen asleep during their zoom class. This happened frequently, the professor assigned him to somebody who would do no work, just to make Wonwoo’s life a lot fucking harder.

Wonwoo’s partner was Vernon Hansol Chwe, the local gamer kid who only left his house to smoke weed and sometimes buy food. He usually worked hard in class, but when it came to group projects he would disappear without a trace—or fall asleep. You see, Vernon was nocturnal, slept during the day and hit his peak at night. He played COD until 3am and slept at 10am, right through the zoom class he had with Wonwoo. Luckily, he texted Wonwoo an apology and logged in later that day to help him with the project.

No one at Wonwoo’s school knew of his sickness, they just assumed he was an online student. Fortunately, they didn’t push or ask further, Wonwoo assumed the teacher told them not to though.

While he started typing on their shared slideshow at 2am, Vernon was stuck on the same paragraph for 25 minutes, and Wonwoo had accepted he probably left to go play Fall Guys. Wonwoo enjoyed video games too, but he often found himself getting bored too quickly.

Then, Vernon left a comment on the side of the slideshow which read, “I’ll do slides 3,4,8,10—sorry for being afk.”

Wonwoo had to audibly process the fact this 19 year old man typed “afk” into a shared school document.

————

His mother was home that morning, brewing her disgusting smelling coffee. Wonwoo hated coffee, he preferred hot chocolate and tea, but the worst part of coffee wasn’t the taste, it was the smell. It cleared his sinuses, sure, but it wasn’t like he had to worry about getting sick in his own house.

“Wonwoo! Can you get Chanwoo up for class?” his mother shouted, to which Wonwoo groaned. It was cold outside, which inherently made the inside of his house cold as well, especially his room. He threw his blanket off of his head, slinking down onto the ground and forcing himself up on his feet, pushing against his back to crack it.

Unwillingly, he stepped into the hallway and walked to Chanwoo’s room, opening the door and rubbing his eyes, “Channie, time to get up..”

Chanwoo rustled in his covers, whining under his breath and pouting up at Wonwoo, “Don’t wanna gooo..” Wonwoo tilted his head, “Why not? You used to love going to class.” Chanwoo sat up and looked down at his feet, his hair sticking up in every direction possible, “There’s this kid in my class that everyone bullies..” He mumbled, “And it’s because he has a big red mark on his face.. I think it looks super duper cool.. but I don’t want people to think I’m weird for hanging out with him.”

There were a few footsteps in the hallway, then a hum in the doorway, “I couldn’t help but hear you talking, Chanwoo, was it?” Mingyu smiled, kneeling next to Chanwoo’s bed. “I’m Mingyu, your cousin’s doctor,” he smiled, sticking his hand out for Chanwoo to shake. “And this kid sounds like he needs a friend Chanwoo, and if the kids think you’re weird for being friends with him then that’s their problem, if you think he’s cool then definitely talk to him,” Mingyu nodded, standing and adjusting his coat.

The younger kid seemed to think for a moment, and with a grin he nodded, “I will talk to him today! He also really likes dinosaurs—I’ll talk about T-rex’s with him today! Thank you Mr. Tall big man!” He grinned and ran into the hallway to Wonwoo’s mom to start getting ready in her room. “Mr. Talk big man..?” Mingyu asked, putting a hand on his hip. “You are pretty tall,” Wonwoo chuckled, his shoulders shaking gently. “We’re almost the same height, I wonder how you got so tall without proper vitamins,” Mingyu teased, sticking his tongue out at Wonwoo.

The two left Chanwoo’s room and went into Wonwoo’s, Mingyu sitting in Wonwoo’s rolling chair while Wonwoo sat on the bed. “You look healthier,” Mingyu smiled. “I do?” Wonwoo asked, chewing on his bottom lip. “Mhm, and your BMI looks a lot better than when we previously checked it, so you must be eating better,” Mingyu inferred, setting the clipboard in his lap.

“It’s crazy how you know more about my health than I do,” Wonwoo hummed, closing his laptop which sat dead on his duvet. “I do? Didn’t you basically become your own doctor by the age of 8?” Mingyu questioned, looking around the room. “Yes, when it came to medicines and appointments, but not when it came to knowing my BMI.. Hell I don’t even know my blood type.” Wonwoo realized, chewing on his nail.

“A positive,” Mingyu smiled. “I guess it is pretty shocking that I know more than you, but that’s how it usually is with a doctor and their patient.”

“I never understood that, I don’t see how it’s fair,” Wonwoo pouted, crossing his arms. “You see, Wonwoo, life isn’t fair,” Mingyu responded, standing and holding his clipboard to his chest.

And Wonwoo thought for a moment.

Yeah.. Life isn’t _fucking fair._

__

__————_ _

__The first time Wonwoo tried to go outside without permission, his Mom caught him._ _

__It was about three in the morning and Wonwoo was 13 years old, at his hyperactive stage of his teenage years. He thought, ‘well I only have two more years left to live, What’s a little fresh air going to do?’ He stepped out of his bedroom door, quiet as a mouse. His small feet padded against the floor and into the hallway, towards the kitchen and decontamination room. His mother had fallen asleep on the couch, and his Auntie was asleep in the chair beside her, where Chanwoo sat in her lap._ _

__Wonwoo grinned to himself as he entered the decontamination room, his feet touching the freezing tile while the showerheads above sprayed him with proper disinfectant. The front door opened to the outside, and Wonwoo stared. The rush he felt whilst he was frozen in place was a feeling that was indescribable. Like a child going to Disneyworld for the first time, or a parent seeing their newborn child, Wonwoo was enthralled._ _

__He took one step. One measly goddamn step towards the door before he was scooped up in his Mother’s arms and pulled back into the kitchen, where the door slammed shut in front of his face._ _

__“Wonwoo! How could you be so ignorant! You could've died if you stepped out there! You know better!” She shouted, gripping his arm in her hand tightly, almost to the point where it was numb. “Mom I-“ “No more excuses! I want none of them! You could’ve done anything tonight- Stayed in your room for once! But no you can never listen! You never listen!” She cried, yanking his arm so hard it felt it was going to fall out of its socket._ _

__“You are a disgrace to this family Wonwoo, do you hear me? Do you fucking hear me? Are you listening?” She yelled, her face visibly turning red. “I will never love you- I never HAVE! You will always be such a fucking burden to carry because you never listen to me..You’re lucky I get money out of taking care of you—Because If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have taken you home. It’s no wonder your father left. Everything bad that has happened in this house.. Everything that’s gone wrong is because of you.” She sobbed, throwing his arm down forcefully._ _

__“Go back to your goddamn room. I never want to see your face again. You disgust me.” She seethed, her slender fingers pointing to the direction of his door. Wonwoo only obeyed, running back to his room and shutting the barrier as quickly as he could, leaning against the wall to catch his breath._ _

___It was so fucking cold._ _ _

____His hands gripped the fabric of his shirt as he sobbed into his arms, barely even able to catch his own breath. Maybe his mother was right. She was happy before he came along, so happy, but after he was brought into existence all he brought her was pain— and the reminder that her husband left because of him._ _ _ _

____———_ _ _ _

____Wonwoo’s afternoon was uneventful after Mingyu left. He sat in the living room watching a modeling show where the objective was to take a good photo and not to let the judges hate you for any reason. If you had a bad photo or were rude, you were voted off, simple. Wonwoo cocked his head to the side at the sound of heels, then a twirling of keys. “I’m heading to dinner with some colleagues, try not to get yourself killed,” his mother pursed, stomping her way out the front door._ _ _ _

____Wonwoo flipped her off as the door closed._ _ _ _

____He scanned the TV again, a pillow trapped between his arms and legs, yawning while one of the girl’s on the TV began to tell her sob-story of her dog passing away when she was thirteen. “Get over yourself girl, atleast you can go outside without worrying if breathing could kill you,” he mumbled, flipping the channel to a movie about two Vampires in love. Classic._ _ _ _

____His phone rang suddenly, and he picked it up with a shaky hand to see Vernon calling him, the bright contact picture of some blue hedgehog lighting up Wonwoo’s screen. “Hello?” He answered, picking at his nails. “Hey Wonwoo, I noticed you finished all your slides and I wanted to see if you could give me a few tips on how to make my less..Y’know..Shit,” Vernon chuckled._ _ _ _

____“What do you mean less shit? I haven’t seen them yet,” Wonwoo hummed, adjusting his glasses. “Well they look pretty shit—No colour or anything like that just..Words and a gif of Bertram from Jessie.”_ _ _ _

____“Who the hell is Bertram?” Wonwoo asked, pausing his nail-picking, intrigued. “Shit I forgot Jessie doesn’t air in Korea in most places—It’s this butler who’s in a show about this chic who gets hired off the street to babysit some kids,” Vernon explained, positioning the phone against his laptop, “Anyway, let me not get distracted, how do I add colour and shit, I’ve never used google Slides.”_ _ _ _

____Wonwoo sighed, rubbing at his temples, “So you click the background icon, and you choose the colour to change the background, don’t change the theme because it’ll change the rest of the slide-“ “I changed the theme.” “Goddamnit Vernon-“ “No I can go back! Wow there’s an undo button—I’m so smart.”_ _ _ _

____This was going to be a long afternoon. Wonwoo would rather watch a sparkly vampire make out with his less sparkly girlfriend than help Vernon figure out how to add gifs to a slideshow._ _ _ _

____“Now- Why does my slide _still _look like shit,” Vernon whined. “What colours did you even pick?” Wonwoo asked, focusing his attention on the movie playing in front of him. “Red and purple,” he replied with a giggle. “Red and purple do not go together!” Wonwoo groaned, slapping his palm against his face. “Says who?” “The colourwheel!” “The fuck is that?” “You cannot be serious Vernon.”___ _ _ _

______“Listen I’m not Shakespeare,” Vernon retorted, a bit of an edge to his voice. “I know you did not just compare a playwright to a goddamn artist,” Wonwoo snorted, almost falling onto the floor in a fit of laughter. “Man– I’m in AP Government! I just need to know who George Washington is and why he’s bad—Not who wrote Hamlet ten million years ago!” Vernon complained, snickering after. “Our slideshow is on George Washington Carver,” Wonwoo gasped, still out of breath from the fit of laughter he just dealt with. “Yeah the Motherfucker who made Jelly,” Vernon scoffed, “I’m dumb but I’m not that dumb.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“He made peanut butter.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The line went dead after that._ _ _ _ _ _

______———_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Uno,” Wonwoo grinned, placing a yellow card down on the table. “Unfair!” His Auntie joked with a pout, “You always beat us in this!” Chanwoo snickered, “It’s only ‘cuz he’s majoring in Teaching!” “Actually pipsqueak I’m majoring in Liberal Arts, if you even know what that means,” Wonwoo snickered, watching his Aunt place another matching yellow card. “I heard your mother whining on the phone earlier,” His Auntie groaned, “I dunno how you stand to put up with her, she’s always complaining about money even though she’s filthy rich.” Chanwoo gasped, “She’s rich?” Wonwoo hummed, “Only because she keeps me around, she gets checks for me being sick, Channie.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I want checks for Wonu bein’ sick! I take care of him more than she does! I made him cookies the other day!” Chanwoo pouted, placing his own card on the pile. “You had Auntie help you with the oven,” she hummed, watching Wonwoo pick a card up since he didn’t have a blue card. “We had to blend them up so Wonwoo could ingest them through his tube, I did that!” Chanwoo said, rather proudly. “His mother takes very good care of you both.. When she’s home atleast,” His aunt mumbled, watching Wonwoo draw a card since he didn’t have a blue one to set down.  
“That sentence says enough,” Wonwoo interrupted, watching his Auntie put her own card onto the pile, which made Chanwoo draw two. “No fair!” Chanwoo whined, taking two cards from the larger, unused card pile, “I’ll beat you next game I swear!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Then, the sound of heels in the hallway snapped all of their heads towards the front door and decontamination room. There stood Wonwoo’s mom, long legs and disgusting perfume. “Enjoying a little game?” She asked, setting her purse down on the counter. “We are! Care to join us?” His Auntie asked, a fake smile plastered on her tired face. “I’d better not, I’ve got work tomorrow and that dinner was god awful,” she whined, unhooking the chain on her necklace._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Please? It’s so much fun!” Chanwoo giggled, kicking his feet eagerly. “I said no. Goodnight,” she spat, pulling her heels off and stepping into her room, slamming the door shut. Chanwoo pursed his lips, looking down at the card in his hand. “Chanwoo, look,” Wonwoo smiled, grabbing the card he held and setting it on the deck, “You won.” Chanwoo’s face lit up, and as he giggled he threw his arms around Wonwoo’s neck and hugged him tightly._ _ _ _ _ _

______Wonwoo didn’t feel as cold as usual._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______——_ _ _ _ _ _

______Fortunately, Wonwoo learned his lesson from his previous attempt to leave the house. Traumatizing, to say the least, traumatizing enough to scare him of the outside world. But the smell of fresh oxygen was like a drug, and Wonwoo was addicted. He knew he couldn’t ever do it again, so he made a deal with his aunt._ _ _ _ _ _

______Everytime she left, she took a jar marked “Air for Wonwoo” and when she came back to the house, she would open the jar and let Wonwoo smell it. Wonwoo knew it wasn’t air from outside, he knew she was scared to use actual air, but Wonwoo appreciated the effort._ _ _ _ _ _

______Chanwoo was only a few months old when he first tried to go outside, and the night his mother shouted at him, Chanwoo was crying until later into the morning. He had kept his aunt, mother, and Chanwoo up. He realized he was a burden, always causing the trouble he vowed he never would. Luckily, he lived his life passively now, he never attempted to go outside or leave the house, his only contact with the outside world being Mingyu._ _ _ _ _ _

______He was a bubbly man, with a mind full of jokes and actresses he found attractive. Hell, he gave Wonwoo a full rundown on why Sarah Paulson should’ve won multiple grammys for her existence. He enjoyed these moments with Mingyu though, they shared many things without feeling like a burden._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What does.. A turtle feel like?” Wonwoo asked, as they both sat in front of the large window looking out into the yard in Wonwoo’s room. “A turtle? Fucking hell Wonwoo why do you care so much about reptiles,” Mingyu snorted, ruffling Wonwoo’s hair. “Hey! I always wanted a pet turtle but my mom said they were dangerous,” Wonwoo pouted. “Turtles don’t feel as slimey as snakes. They oddly feel kinda dry even though they live in the water, it’s probably just the shell though,” Mingyu hummed, exhaling onto the glass and drawing a smiley-face onto it._ _ _ _ _ _

______They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, Wonwoo looking at the way the grass moved so gently in the wind, partially dead and yet still so vibrant and pretty. “Did you take your medicine today?” Mingyu asked, looking over at the other. “Mmh,” Wonwoo replied, drawing shapes into the window with his own pale, slender fingers. “And did you eat?” Mingyu hummed, sinking back into Wonwoo’s fluffy white carpet. “Twice, Auntie blended up some pizza,” Wonwoo replied, his eyelids growing heavy._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m proud of you,” Mingyu whispered, his fingers slightly grazing over Wonwoo’s hand as he gave it a pat._ _ _ _ _ _

______And god the heat that rushed through Wonwoo’s body was simply _unforgivable.__ _ _ _ _ _


	3. THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo has to cook for Chanwoo, gets injured, and his mother fakes his love for him yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Hello! Before we begin I would like to thank everyone for 68 Kudos so far! That's INSANE! This is my first ever ao3 fic so it really does mean a lot to me. Anyways, a few warning for this chapter: slight child abuse mentions, burn injuries, and many mentions of death. This whole chapter is laced with many of the warnings I previously mentioned so if any of these trigger you, please skip past this chapter. Remember to follow me on twitter to hear more from me! @canofteeth Enjoy the chapter!

Mingyu couldn’t come that morning. 

Wonwoo, is devastated. The only person that makes it feel like he’s able to breathe is absent and now he’s stuck with his mother to help him take his medicine and feed him. It’s awful, annoying, and most of all impossible. She’s gone all day, and doesn’t come back until early in the morning drunk and stumbling around the house. Wonwoo feels his colour that he regained once again fading away as if he were a cherry blossom tree in the winter. It was colder than ever now, the room felt as if it were an icebox, and no amount of blankets or tea could make Wonwoo any warmer.

Maybe needing someone like Mingyu was toxic, though. Sure, Wonwoo felt as if the whole fact that he was dying melted away everytime Mingyu was near. But it also reminded him of how much care he actually needed to stay alive. Everyday was a milestone, every temperature check equated into statistics to see just how close his death was. Rigor mortis felt it would set in any moment now that Mingyu was away, though. It was all charts, all data for studies that Wonwoo knew nothing about. He was wrapped up in a tornado of something that he never signed up for.

His mother helped him pick out his casket when he was fifteen. He wasn’t allowed to see it in person at first, only through a computer screen. Wonwoo never understood why death was so difficult to process for kids his age. Maybe because they usually only dealt with pets or relatives dying, and not their own self. Once you’ve reached the phase of “so when’s it going to officially happen” you forget that death may hurt, he figured. At that age of fifteen, Wonwoo deemed himself already dead. His existence was deemed unimportant then, to himself at least. 

Existentialism was just a word to Wonwoo. Not a phrase nor a joke, simply a word he would use to himself when he felt happy for even a moment. Maybe death wasn’t just around the corner, maybe he would live to be the ripe age of 102, but at what cost? Just to sit inside a house for the rest of his life and never be able to feel the way the salt in the air at the beach sat inside his lungs? No thanks, he’d rather die at 25. 

His eyes darted over to the large window in his room. He wondered how animals accepted their death. Was it the same way he lived? Was he just prey in the grand scheme of Mother nature’s shitty book of rules. He was prey to his disease, which ate him alive and attacked him from birth and until death. It was like a marriage, an abusive one. Where he was married to medicine, to appointments, to the hospital because no one could get a grip and help him learn how to survive in such a shitty world. Maybe mother nature’s grip was just as awful to other people as well, after all Wonwoo wasn’t the only one sick and dying.

His head pressed against the glass, the tip of his nose scrunched against it to where his glasses practically fell off and became useless to him. The window was cold, so it must’ve been cold outside, the roses inside the bushes began to die, and the grass began to turn brown. The animals Wonwoo used to see went into hiding to keep themselves safe and warm, just like humans did during the winter. Wonwoo didn’t have that choice, obviously, but he really wished he’d stop comparing himself to animals. Eventually, he forced himself up to go get some food, he might as well indulge in something that would bring him partial joy.

The living room smelled of bleach and Pine Sol, the floors had very obviously been mopped by their Aunt as it was done properly. Chanwoo sat on the couch, looking out the window above it at the neighborhood outside, where an elderly man was walking his dog. A few more steps and Wonwoo was in the kitchen, in front of the fridge with a frown at the note left behind. 

_Wonwoo, make dinner for yourself and Chanwoo, your auntie and I have errands to run. ___

__**-Mom**_ _

__

__Great, another boring thing to put on his agenda. What the hell would he even make? Wonwoo didn’t know how to cook and sure as hell knew his mom would slaughter him if he ordered takeout. Chanwoo was also a picky kid, he only ate his own Mother’s cooking, not even Wonwoo’s mom’s cooking. He groaned and stepped back into the hallway to grab his phone and research something easy, yet edible for Chanwoo to eat. Every website recommended spices and pans that Wonwoo didn’t have in his house, so much for easy home cooking. He couldn’t message anyone, hell, Wonwoo didn’t have any friends._ _

__But, the thing is, he had a doctor._ _

__He pinched the bridge of his nose, contemplating whether or not this would actually be a good idea. Mingyu was busy that morning, so he could still be busy now seeing as it was only a few hours later. And did Mingyu even know how to cook? He was smart, but that doesn’t mean he had any knowledge when it came to culinary practices. And Wonwoo wasn’t one for starting conversations, he didn’t know how to politely ask his doctor to come and help him cook. He didn’t want to feel dumb and useless yet again, hell he couldn’t even take care of himself let alone cook a simple meal for his cousin._ _

__He opened the contacts app and clicked on Mingyu’s, hitting the call button just moments after contemplating it a bit longer._ _

__“Hey Wonu, what’s up?” Mingyu answered, his voice sounding a bit more tired than usual. “Hey.. uhm.. Are you still busy?” Wonwoo asked, biting at his nails. Mingyu’s side went quiet for a moment, as if he was thinking about a polite way to turn him down. “It’s okay if you are- I just.. My Mom left me alone with Chanwoo for the night and I have to make dinner but god knows I barely can even process how to turn the toaster oven onー So I thought maybe you’d know how to cook something for him,” Wonwoo rambled, scratching at the back of his neck. “Wait, Wonwoo, why didn’t you just say you wanted me to come over? I’m not busy, I’ll be there soon,” Mingyu chuckled, and then the line went dead._ _

__He arrived about 30 minutes later, but something was off. He wasn’t in his lab coat, nor did he have his clipboard with him. He was dressed in a large sweater that fell to his thighs along with black skinny jeans, he made Wonwoo look underdressed in his own home. His hair was pushed back away from his forehead, and a pair of obnoxiously round glasses sat perched on his nose. “I bought a few things to help us out, if that’s okay with you,” Mingyu grinned, raising the bag up with two fingers while his other hand rested on his hip. “I can tell you’re mocking me,” Wonwoo pouted. “Mr. Tall Big Man!” Chanwoo giggled, running up to Mingyu and hugging his side. “Oh-! Hi Chanwoo, how’s your evening been?” Mingyu hummed, patting his hair with his free hand. “Good! I watched some dinosaur movies and slept pretty much all day,” Chanwoo replied, rocking back and forth on his feet. “That sounds enjoyable, go watch some more of those movies so your cousin and I can cook you dinner, yeah?” Mingyu grinned, patting his head once more._ _

__And just like that, Chanwoo was sprinting down the hallway towards his room, and the sound of his door shutting rang through the now quiet house. Wonwoo bit at his bottom lip, looking down at his phone while Mingyu set the bag of ingredients on the counter. “Wonu?” Mingyu asked, stepping next to him and leaning over to look at him, “You okay? Is something on your mind?” Wonwoo stayed quiet for a moment, his eyes looking over at Mingyu who was now dangerously close to him. “You said you were busy earlier.” Wonwoo mumbled, “So now I feel like I’m bothering you with something so miniscule.” Mingyu pouted, placing his hand on top of Wonwoo’s head, “Kids these days always worry about how other people think of them.” “I’m literally older than you,” Wonwoo whined, flicking Mingyu’s chest._ _

__

__“That’s besides the point, anyways, Yes I was busy earlier with a few patients, but now I’m not busy, and now I wanna cook with my friend,” Mingyu smiled, all big and bright and hopelessly pretty. _Friend? _Wonwoo blinked at Mingyu, who only kept grinning, “Well, let’s get on with it, don’t wanna keep the little dork waiting.”__ _ _

____\---------_ _ _ _

____“So wait.. The butter goes on the pan before the meat goes in?” Wonwoo asked, pushing his glasses up on his nose as he read the instructions his phone gave him. Mingyu snickered as he cracked the eggs into a separate bowl, “Mhm, just take a butter knife and cut off a small piece, then place it in the pan and make sure to move it around the pan.” Wonwoo nodded and pursed his lips, his hands shaking as he cut a small slice of butter and dropped it into the pan, watching as it melted in the center of it. He then grabbed the handle of the skillet and started to move the butter around, his eyes glancing over to Mingyu who was whisking the eggs together and humming some catchy pop song he had heard a few weeks ago._ _ _ _

____Wonwoo noticed how Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed the slightest bit when he was frustrated, and how his jaw clenched when he noticed something was done wrong or incorrectly. He noticed the way Wonwoo’s hair was always tucked neatly behind his ear, the way his nails were always coated with a clear polish to keep them looking nice and clean. Was he observational? Or just weird? “Wonu, the butter is melted,” Mingyu hummed, not even looking over at the other as he continued to add milk to the eggs._ _ _ _

_____Fuck was he staring? ____ _ _ _

______“R-Right!” Wonwoo stuttered, a red color rising to his ears as he turned back to put the meat in the pan. He waited for one side to brown, adding salt to it as it cooked (it was already seasoned by Mingyu prior to being put into the pan) just to make sure it still kept the flavor. He flipped it over once it was brown, cutting it into smaller pieces as Mingyu poured the eggs into a separate pan. The room was quiet, save for the sound of the meat and eggs simmering on their respective pans and Chanwoo’s dinosaur movie playing faintly from his room. Mingyu’s eggs finished, and he placed them on the plate on the dining table, moving to stand next to Wonwoo, watching how he cooked the meat._ _ _ _ _ _

______The room was on fire, but in a good way. Wonwoo had never been this close to someone who wasn’t a family member, and with Mingyu’s elbow resting next to the oven, his eyes looking up at Wonwoo who was too focused on the meat to notice Mingyu shifting to rest his head on Wonwoo’s shoulder. It was comforting, Mingyu’s breath was brushing against Wonwoo’s cheek ever so slightly, his hand playing with the back on Wonwoo’s fluffy hair. The older felt his heart would burst at any moment, the feeling of someone- something acknowledging his existence, knowing he was there and not just a rose that was dying in the winter._ _ _ _ _ _

______The meat finally stopped cooking, and Mingyu stepped away to the fridge to grab drinks for the family. The contact, though only brief, kept Wonwoo warm, and for once he felt alive.  
“Wonu, do you want water? Or a smoothie?” Mingyu hummed, looking over at him with one eyebrow raised. Wonwoo’s eyes darted over to the other as he reached over to turn the oven off, not noticing how his shirt had slipped up, exposing his stomach. His stomach pressed against the hot oven, burning into his stomach, and with a yelp he crumbled to the floor, covering his stomach with his arm. “Wonwoo!” Mingyu cried, sliding down to the floor within a second, pulling Wonwoo’s hand away gently to see the red skin, right next to his feeding tube. “Chanwoo!” Mingyu shouted, calling for his help. Tiny footsteps rang through the hallway, then a paling face appeared in the kitchen archway. “Chanwoo, go to your cousin’s room and grab the first aid kit under the sink, bring it to me in here, and hurry please,” Mingyu pleaded, grabbing a moist towel and holding it to the burn. _ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“Wonwoo, Wonwoo look at me,” Mingyu begged, cupping the male’s face in his free hand. “Don’t close your eyes, look at me, just me,” Mingyu soothed, pulling Wonwoo’s glasses off his face. If they didn’t get the burn covered, it would easily get infected by bacteria, and kill Wonwoo in a second, not to mention the fact it takes weeks for even a papercut to heal on his skin. Chanwoo sprinted back into the room with the box in his hands, setting it next to Mingyu. “Good, Thank you Chanwoo, now his phone is on the counter, bring it to me,” He instructed, opening the kit and grabbing the burn treatment lotion, pulling Wonwoo’s shirt up , keeping the other’s head pressed to his shoulder to keep him awake. “Hey Wonwoo, are you with me? Can you hear me?” Mingyu asked, throwing the lotion aside as Chanwoo handed him the phone. “Mmh..” Wonwoo groaned, his eyebrows furrowed in pain._ _ _ _ _ _

______Mingyu then grabbed the bandages, slipping a large cotton pad over the burn, taping it down with medical tape before wrapping his waist with bandages, tightening it off and exhaling softly, his hair now disheveled and sticking to his forehead. Wonwoo was cold, so fucking cold but his body was burning up, every inch of his skin was on fire to Mingyu, sweat rolling down his temple and onto Mingyu’s shoulder. Chanwoo hiccuped, covering his mouth with his hand, sniffling as he kneeled next to the two on the floor. “Is he..” Chanwoo mumbled, looking at his deathly pale cousin. “He’s alright Chanwoo,” Mingyu smiled, shakily while he helped Wonwoo turn his head to look at his cousin. Wonwoo smiled, his lips faintly pink as he opened his arm to Chanwoo, who curled up against his shoulder, crying into it as his body wracked with sobs._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______\-----_ _ _ _ _ _

______Mingyu and Chanwoo helped Wonwoo to the couch, Chanwoo staying beside him to make sure he stayed awake, pressing his forehead to his shoulder and sniffling. Mingyu returned with an ice pack, along with the phone pressed to his ear as he ordered take-out. Wonwoo didn’t want to eat anymore, he could barely even process where he was at and that just made things a lot worse. His stomach felt as if it would fall out at any moment, and all he wanted was to rest and catch his breath._ _ _ _ _ _

______Chanwoo had fallen asleep after his crying fit, Wonwoo using his hand to soothe his hair down while he snored against his shoulder. Mingyu sat next to Wonwoo, deep in thought as his head rested against his other shoulder. “Tell me about that movie,” Mingyu mumbled, shifting his head the slightest bit. “Which one..?” Wonwoo asked, his eyes looking over the other male. “Your favorite.. River’s Edge.. or something like that..” Mingyu hummed, playing with his own fingers. “Well.. it’s about this.. Group of teenagers who all have certain issues.. One is bullied for being gay, one is in an abusive relationship, one is bulimic, one is greatly troubled, and one is pyschotic..” Wonwoo started, “And it goes through how they learn to cope, whether it's healthily or unhealthily, people die, animals die, and people leave..” Wonwoo hummed, his free hand moving to Mingyu’s hair._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It makes me feel less alone, when it comes to suffering,” Wonwoo mumbled, the colour still draining from his face. “Everyone suffers,” Mingyu spoke, “Though some might not show it, most of us are suffering a great deal, you’re not alone Wonwoo, even though it probably feels like it.” Wonwoo paused for a moment, his eyes slipping shut, fuck dying probably felt better than this, “I’m dying, Mingyu.” Mingyu’s breath hitched, and he gripped his own hand so tightly his knuckles turned white, **”I know.”**_ _ _ _ _ _

_______\-----_ _ _ _ _ __

______His mother and aunt showed up hours later, Wonwoo had stared at the ceiling for the remainder of the night while Chanwoo ate his supper in silence. Mingyu stood up once they arrived and saw Wonwoo as white as snow. “What the fuck happened- What in the _fuck _happened to him?!” His mother yelled, stomping in front of Mingyu’s figure. “We were cooking for the child you left at home and he burned himself on the stove,” Mingyu replied, “It’s my fault, I’m his doctor, I should’ve been watching him more closely, I understand if you choose to terminate our contract.” His mother hissed, “I might as well, your job is to watch over him and that’s what you’re getting paid by the hospital to do! You almost let my child die!” She cried, rushing over to Wonwoo and cupping his face in her hands.__ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Wonwoo, are you alright? Are you still in pain?” she asked, counterfeit worry on her face. “I’m fine, it wasn’t his fault, I was supposed to cook and it would’ve been a lot worse if it was just Chanwoo and I here, so you should be thanking him,” Wonwoo replied, covering his stomach with his hand. Mingyu’s mouth turned upward into a small smile, though he still blamed himself for what happened, Wonwoo did have a point. “So are you saying it’s mine and your aunt’s fault?” His mother asked, venom laced in her voice. “Maybe,” Wonwoo replied, almost with the same amount of venom if not more._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Mingyu left after that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________\------_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Wonwoo trudged to his room, his hand covering his injury as his feet rubbed against the floor. He was tired, and hungry, and every bone in his body ached from being laid in the same position for the rest of the night. Mingyu didn’t text him that night, or call him, Wonwoo’s fucked up family must’ve scared him off. He rubbed his face, sitting down in front of the window in his room, peeling his shirt off of his sweaty body, throwing it on the floor in haste. He pressed his cheek against it, sighing shakily against it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Tap ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Huh?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Tap,tap ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He raised his head up, seeing Mingyu sitting across the glass, his fingernail tapping the window. His eyebrows were downturned, looking at Wonwoo, his mouth opened just slightly. “Are you okay?” He mouthed, bringing his knees to his chest. Wonwoo stared back at him, and nodded his head slightly. Mingyu pursed his lips, and suddenly pulled out his phone, typing something on it before pressing it to the glass._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________**I miss you.**____________

****

____________Wonwoo snorted, taking his own phone out and typing on it:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

_____________it’s been two hours. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

______________Mingyu pouted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

****

__**____**______**__**Am I not allowed to miss my friend?** _ _ **______**____**__

********** **

______________Wonwoo looked at the words, his lips jutted out while he licked them wet, _friend. _Not a patient, not a burden, not a financial standpoint for someone to feed off of, but a friend.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

********** **

_________________no. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

********** **

__________________**Rude:(** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

********** **

___________________do you want to come inside? ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

********** **

____________________**Please. My balls are freezing off.** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

********** **

____________________Wonwoo nodded and stood up, stepping quietly into the hallway and into the living room, unlocking the decontamination chamber and watching Mingyu step in, his hair messed up and glasses foggy. Not a moment after he was finished sanitizing, he ran in and hugged Wonwoo’s neck gently, pulling him closer to his own body. “God, I’m so sorry- I’m so sorry I should've been watching you I’m your fucking caretaker for god’s sakes I should’ve done everything on the stove-” Mingyu rambled, his voice shaky and body trembling. Wonwoo listened and held onto every word, “Gyu, it’s not your fault- You’re okay.. I’m not mad I.. I could never be mad at you.” Mingyu stayed attached to Wonwoo for much longer than he anticipated. They shuffled awkwardly to Wonwoo’s room, Mingyu slumping down on the bed first while Wonwoo snuggled into his chest, sighing out gently._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

********** **

____________________“Do friends usually cuddle like this?” Wonwoo asked, his voice muffled in Mingyu’s chest. “Yeah, My friend’s Joshua and Jeonghan do it all the time, they’re all lovey and shit at work- Joshua is Jeonghan’s nurse so they flirt every chance they can get. They think we can’t see the obvious bedroom eyes they give each other, it’s gross!” Mingyu whined. “They sound like very good friends?” Wonwoo replied, hesitantly, “But you said bedroom eyes- Do they have sex?” Mingyu shrugged, “Hell if I know, Joshua’s this innocent looking dude with big eyes and Jeonghan’s this lanky bully who teases everyone about everything, so maybe they just tease each other- The sexual tension is uncanny though.” Wonwoo snickered, “Joshua sounds like a nice guy though.” Mingyu laughed, “Poor kid, he was born in America and had to study Korean for three years- and sometimes doesn’t understand phrases so Jeonghan teases him about it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

********** **

____________________The two talked like this for a bit longer, until Wonwoo trailed off to sleep, Mingyu noticing after his breathing had changed and switched to autopilot. The younger smiled, leaning down and pressing a kiss on the other’s head, “Goodnight Wonu.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

********** **


	4. FOUR.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! So sorry these updates are a little sporadic, school has been kicking my ass. This chapter is heavily romantic and sappy and gross so if that’s something you don’t like, please skip it. Remember to follow me on Twitter @WonuStim to learn more about the updates and whatnot <3\. Enjoy the chapter!

Wonwoo’s bed was empty in the morning. His body was tired, groggy, and starving. When was the last time he actually ate? 

He yawned and sat up, scratching at the back of his neck, a slight pain erupting in his lower stomach region. He lifted his shirt up to see the bandages, which had grown soggy and gross from the ointments and sweat. He sighed, swinging his gangly limbs over the edge of his bed, glancing up towards the window which was covered in fog. Pressing his toes to the carpet, he cracked his knuckles, rolling his head around by his neck as he walked over to the bathroom to freshen up and change his bandages.

Looking in the mirror, Wonwoo was staring at himself dead in the face. His eyes were red, face white as snow and his hands wouldn’t stop shaking. He was freezing, almost hypothermic temperature surrounding his fragile body. Maybe the infection had finally got to him, maybe he was about to die in his own house. Jeon Wonwoo, at age 20 might die in his own bathroom. He laughed, quietly.

How bothersome, to stare at yourself in the mirror and all you could think about was how your corpse would look as you float above your decaying body. He was sick, he knows, but maybe his death would bring him something valuable. No more suffering, and pills, and listening to his mother cry about her work day. A knock at the door broke him from his thoughts.

“Wonwoo?” Mingyu hummed, stepping inside in his large labcoat with slicked back hair. Wonwoo’s eyes pierced right into Mingyu’s, as if galaxies intertwined between the two in a matter of milliseconds, Wonwoo suddenly wasn’t thinking about his untimely demise. “Hi,” Mingyu smiled, walking closer to the male who began to brush his teeth.

“Hewwo,” Wonwoo replied, the toothbrush and toothpaste slurring his speech. “Sleep well?” Mingyu hummed, tilting his head. Wonwoo rolled his eyes, “Like a baby.” Mingyu snickered, “You’re the worst, y’know?” The older spat into the sink and rinsed his mouth out, wiping it with a small towel, “No need to be rude, I didn’t even ask how your night was.” Mingyu stood up properly, sticking his tongue out, “Well go on then, ask me.” Wonwoo bit his bottom lip, not ready to hear about how he drooled in his sleep, though it would be endearing.

“How was your night?”

“Well, I went home and fell asleep. My dog pissed on the carpet this morning and trying to clean it up with four full hours of sleep isn’t really the easiest thing. I also burned my eggs and now I have a sore on my tongue from my coffee being too hot,” Mingyu complained, tapping his fingers against the counter.

Wait, Mingyu was with Wonwoo last night.

“Anyway, let’s get you into the living room, I have a bit of a surprise for you, well, it’s more of a surprise for them, but I’m sure you’ll get along great,” Mingyu smiled, motioning for Wonwoo to follow him. Wonwoo pursed his lips, did Mingyu forget about their time together last night? Or did he simply choose to forget? 

“Okay.”

Wonwoo followed Mingyu into the living room, his bandages now changed and hair poofed up into every direction known to man. “Yoon Jeonghan! Quit tormenting the kid!” A male voice cried from the living room, along with a yelp from Chanwoo. “I’m not doing anything! Look he’s fine aren’t you kiddo?” Another voice asked with a giggle. Wonwoo turned the corner to see two taller gentlemen, one dressed in a labcoat and the other in a simple sweater and jeans. The male wearing the sweater had a kind face and dark blue hair, the male wearing the labcoat had a teasing glare and bleach blonde hair.

“Jeonghan, Joshua, this is Wonwoo, my patient with SCID,” Mingyu nodded, stepping aside for the others to view him. “Oh,” Joshua hummed, his eyes growing wide and his cheeks lightning up with excitement. “Holy fucking shit-Holy fucking shit he wasn’t kidding!” Jeonghan laughed, rushing over to Wonwoo and cupping his cheeks in his hands, glancing at him from every angle. 

“The doctors- The scientists- They all said you were an anomaly- a mutation- but you’re.. You’re just you!” Jeonghan gasped, spinning in a circle once he let go of Wonwoo. Wonwoo sat, confused and anxious about meeting new people. He never liked making friends or acquaintances. He bounced on his toes as Joshua made his way over, bowing to Wonwoo, “I’m sorry for his behavior, I’m Joshua, his nurse.” Wonwoo nodded and bowed back, sitting up entirely and looking at Mingyu whose hands were stuffed in his pockets as Chanwoo hugged his leg, giggling. 

_Did he actually forget? ___

__

__“It’s nice to meet the both of you.. I’m Wonwoo, I think you knew that..” The male nodded, fixing his bangs with the tips of his fingers. “Mingyu talks of you a lot, so yes we do know atleast that much,” Joshua hummed, his fingers moving to intertwine with Jeonghan’s. “I have much to do today,” Mingyu hummed, adjusting his glasses, “You got to meet him, get this interview over with so I can give him his medicine. Wonwoo stood silently, his lips pulled into a discreet pout. Jeonghan pushed his tongue out at Mingyu and dragged Joshua to the dining table, waving for Wonwoo to follow. In suit, Wonwoo sat in his chair across from Jeonghan who pulled out a small notepad, tapping the end of his pen against the table so he could begin to write. “Right! So tell me, Wonwoo were you properly diagnosed when you were little?”_ _

__“When I was born they noticed I was struggling to breathe, so they intubated me, and discovered that I had such a lack of an immune system that if I even stepped foot outside I would die,” Wonwoo nodded, his hands toying with themselves. Jeonghan proceeded to write, an obvious smile on his tanned cheeks, “And how did you get home? Here, I mean.” Wonwoo pursed his lips, “My mom said they brought the machinery on the ambulance, and built the decontamination station for free with my disability checks.” “Disability checks?” Joshua asked, tilting his head as a small dog would. “You receive money from the state?” Wonwoo hummed and pressed his nails into his palm, “Yup, every month we receive approximately 8,688,240 won per month.” Joshua gasped, “So in America you’d receive 8,000 dollars, that’s insane, er, not in a bad way of course! Your family deserves it.” Jeonghan scribbled onto his notebook, “Do you do things as every other person would do? E.g. showering, eating, sleeping, etcetera?”_ _

__Wonwoo spoke after a short pause, “Sleeping and showering is pretty much the same, but I feed through a tube to make sure none of the bacteria from the food is liable to enter my throat, which is pretty much ruined from the hospital when I was a baby.” Joshua watched Jeonghan write, his thumb rubbing circles into the hand that was holding the notepad._ _

__Touch. Wonwoo noticed Joshua liked touch, it looked like he craved it. From their hand holding to now carefully rubbing his thumb across Jeonghan’s skin, Joshua seemed to always be touching his partner. It wasn’t odd, human touch was something most people tended to need access to, but Wonwoo never insisted he needed it._ _

__

__“That’s all I have,” Jeonghan smiled, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. “You seem to lead a pretty normal life, even if you’re unable to go outside.” Wonwoo didn’t feel like delving into his existentialism on the first meeting, so with a curt nod and fake smile, he replied, “Mhm, normal as I can be.” Jeonghan pushed his pen into his coat pocket, looking over to Mingyu and nodding, “We’ll be out of your hair now, I suppose, enjoy your day Wonwoo, if you ever need help or need to ask anything of me, Mingyu has my number.” Joshua smiled, all pretty and bright, “Same goes for me, Jeonghan’s a bit scary.” “You are the worst sometimes,” Jeonghan pouted, flicking Joshua’s shoulder. With only a hum, Joshua replied, “Yet you still love me.”_ _

__

___Love. ____ _

____The couple left moments thereafter, Mingyu waving them goodbye and turning to look at Wonwoo who stared at his hands. He couldn’t erase it from his mind, the other had forgotten about last night and that pushed Wonwoo to believe he had made the other uncomfortable with his advances. Mingyu sighed and walked over, wrapping his arms around the male’s head and bringing it to his chest, soothing his hair down with his hand, “I’m sorry if they overwhelmed you.” Wonwoo froze, his breath hitching in his throat at the sudden embrace, “N-no.. They didn't, I'm just tired..” Mingyu frowned, pulling away to tilt Wonwoo’s head up with his fingers, “Your eyes look tired, let’s get you your medicine so you can lay down, okay?”_ _ _ _

____Wonwoo swears he felt his body temperature rise to 101._ _ _ _

____Mingyu helped Wonwoo take his pills through a smoothie, spouting something about traffic and how awful driving was in the early hours of the morning. Wonwoo noticed Mingyu had soft hands, they were delicate and slim just like his accompanying body, tanned all over with soft black hair and a voice so velvety Wonwoo could listen to him talk about anything. Maybe it was rude of him to stare, but who wouldn’t? “I’ve got a few more patients to see today, will you be alright with Chanwoo,” Mingyu asked, cleaning up the remains of the smoothie.Wonwoo nod his head, “Yes, I’ll be alright and Chanwoo’s mom is coming over soon anyway.”_ _ _ _

____“You sure? I can stay and help until she gets here,” Mingyu hummed, leaning on the counter beside Wonwoo. Sighing, whilst letting his thoughts roam his brain, Wonwoo let out a soft, “Mhm.” To which Mingyu stood up completely, dusting his coat off, “I’ll be leaving then, take care Wonwoo, call me if you need me.” Mingyu was out in no time, leaving Wonwoo alone with his thoughts, sitting on the counter._ _ _ _

____Maybe Mingyu forgetting about their little cuddling session was good, then Wonwoo wouldn’t have to go through the embarrassment of relaying the information to his aunt or mother if Mingyu were to bring it up in front of them. “Wonu!” Chanwoo yelled, bouncing into the room. “Mh?” Wonwoo hummed, holding his hand out for Chanwoo to hold his pinky. “Mr. Tall Big man is really pretty,” he giggled, swinging Wonwoo’s hand. “Pretty?” Wonwoo hummed, a smile spreading on his face. “You think he’s pretty?” Chanwoo tapped his chin, “Mhm! I think Mr. Tall Big Man is pretty, prettier than the boys at my school.”_ _ _ _

____“Are you saying you find boys pretty?” Wonwoo asked, tilting his head. “Mhm! and girls.. Are you and him dating? He comes over a lot.” Chanwoo replied, looking up at Wonwoo. “No, we aren’t dating, he’s just a friend,” Wonwoo shook his head, ruffling Chanwoo’s hair. “Y’know that’s what they always say in shows when they secretly have a crush on eachother,” Chanwoo pouted, stepping back to look at Wonwoo. “I think you watch too much Tv,” the older replied, poking Chanwoo with his foot. Chanwoo grinned, big and bright, “Whatever you say Wonu!”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____———_ _ _ _

____His mother came home early that night, bags in her hands with a smile on her face. “Ah! Wonwoo, your check came early so I thought I’d treat myself to some shopping, do you want to see what I got?” Wonwoo grimaced, “That check is supposed to be for my treatments.” His mom shrugged, “I only used 800$ of it, you’re being overdramatic.” Wonwoo stood up, sliding his chair out, “Each treatment costs 1,000$ and you have to buy food every month, I have 6 treatments per month and you still choose to recklessly spend all of our money.” His mother sighed, stomping into her room and slamming the door, leaving Wonwoo in the dining room._ _ _ _

____Mingyu sat on the couch, iced coffee in his hand, “Christ.” Wonwoo snorted, “I told you she was bad, unfortunately you had to see it.” Mingyu hummed as Wonwoo sat beside him, folding his legs to his chest, “She truly is the worst.” Wonwoo smiled, “What’s your dad like then?” Mingyu shrugged, “He’s not so bad, really. He just forced me to work hard as a kid, but I guess it was for the better.” “For the better?” The other inquired, taking a sip of lemon water. “I wouldn’t have met you,” Mingyu replied, smiling with his straw between his teeth._ _ _ _

____Wonwoo choked on his water, having a coughing fit whilst the other rubbed and patted his back. “Too much?” Mingyu snorted, earning a glare from the other. After he had regained his composure, Wonwoo pouted, “You can’t just say stuff like that..” Mingyu hummed, “Why not?” Wonwoo pursed his lips._ _ _ _

_____Because I think I might like you. ____ _ _ _

______“It’s weird!” Wonwoo giggled, the younger slapping his shoulder playfully. “You’re so mean sometimes, I swear,” Mingyu frowned, laying across the couch and propping his feet on the other’s lap. “Let’s watch a movie.” Wonwoo froze, raising an eyebrow and turning to face Mingyu, “Pardon?” “A movie, Wonu, we should watch one,” Mingyu hummed, biting at his straw again. “You said my taste in movies was shit,” Wonwoo pushed Mingyu’s legs off and walked over to the Tv, Mingyu followed with a groan and crack of his back._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Maybe I did, just don’t play disney shit and we’ll be good,” Mingyu hummed, squatting to help Wonwoo pick a film. Wonwoo’s taste in films were all foreign, american or french films and Mingyu’s were sappy love stories and shitty mystery movies. “Have you ever seen Clue?” Mingyu asked, looking to Wonwoo. “No, what’s it about?” Wonwoo asked, tilting his head. “Oh fuck no, we’re watching Clue—This is a smart Tv right?” Mingyu asked, clutching at his chest. “Yes, it’s the only thing my mom bought that was actually worth it,” Wonwoo grinned, standing up and grabbing the remote._ _ _ _ _ _

______The two sat back down on the couch, Wonwoo finding the movie on Hulu and pressing play. “If this sucks I’m holding you to it.” Mingyu hummed and brought Wonwoo’s head to his shoulder, “Shut up and watch the movie.” Wonwoo grinned and allowed himself to be coddled, but it only made him remember that night. Mingyu still hadn’t brought it up, or insinuated it ever happened, and it hadn’t left Wonwoo since then. Once the movie had started, Mingyu was enraptured in a matter of minutes, it was quite possibly his favorite movie. Wonwoo noticed that the other’s fingers were cold, possibly from his drink, but to take his mind off things, he slid his hand into the other’s and gripped it softly. Mingyu tensed, pursing his lips before gripping back gently, exhaling sharply._ _ _ _ _ _

______Mingyu’s eyes glued to the television made Wonwoo realize what kind of person he was. Mingyu liked the cold, he liked having messy hair and hated waking up early. He enjoyed murder mysteries and iced coffee, he liked comfy couches and wearing fuzzy socks inside of his boots. He hated being touched and hated romance novels, but oddly he liked romance films. Mingyu liked touching Wonwoo. Mingyu liked staring at him, complimenting him. He didn’t know why he did what he did, but there was no regret._ _ _ _ _ _

______He had cupped Wonwoo’s face, staring into his deep, brown eyes and breathing softly against his lips. Wonwoo had done the same moments after, putting his hands over Mingyu’s, licking his lips. “.. I could get sick..” Mingyu blinked softly, gripping Wonwoo’s hand in his own, pressing his lips to it, “We’ll be safe.” Wonwoo pulled his hand away, glancing to the side, “You..” He paused, taking a shaky breath, “You pretended like that night didn’t happen—You.. You left in the morning and pretended that everything we did was wrong I..” Wonwoo stuttered. “I can’t.. I can’t do this.. I’m sick.. You- You give me butterflies but they’re dying.. Constantly dying and .. and Everything around me is dying Mingyu—I am dying..”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Mingyu froze as a deer in headlights, moving his hands from Wonwoo’s face, “I’m sorry I didn’t..” He licked his lips again, “I didn’t know that night meant so much to you—I would’ve never acted as it didn’t happen.. I was scared.. I’m not used to that Wonu..” Wonwoo looked at Mingyu, “Not used to what? Not used to taking care of a sick person? Not used to falling for someone who could die at anytime?” Mingyu gripped Wonwoo’s wrist; “No! I’m not used to touch—I hate being touched you know that..It was a first for me.” Wonwoo hiccuped, standing up and wiping at his eyes, “Go—Please go.. I can’t do this right now..” Mingyu stared at Wonwoo, sadness delved deep into the pools of his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______He stood, hugging Wonwoo’s head to his chest, petting his hair. “I’m sorry..I’m so sorry..” Mingyu rocked the other softly, Wonwoo’s arms instinctively wrapping around Mingyu’s waist, picking at his sweater sleeves. “I’m so tired..” He sniffled, a slight giggle in his voice. “Do you still want me to go?” Mingyu hummed, looking down at Wonwoo. “No, no stay, just..Don’t pretend this never happened..” Wonwoo replied, snuggling further into Mingyu’s chest._ _ _ _ _ _

_______“I won’t. Never again.” ____ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please leave a comment below if you have questions or concerns. I'm working on more stories as well so updates will be a little out of wack for awhile, but I promise to try and have one chapter out each month to keep you entertained. 
> 
> Remember to leave Kudos! The author appreciates it.


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